Worked examples
Four situations, fully worked out — from the first sentence to the answer to pushback. They come from the same engine that drives the assistant: what stands here is what you get with the same input.
The input arrived late
Colleague · Reliability · Change somethingThe input was due Thursday at noon; it arrived on Friday afternoon.
I am annoyed, because I replanned my day twice.
I would like you to tell me by Thursday noon whether the input is coming.
There is something I would like to raise. The input was due Thursday at noon; it arrived on Friday afternoon. I am annoyed, because I replanned my day twice. I would like you to tell me by Thursday noon whether the input is coming.
Womit du rechnen kannst
You may well remember it differently. What I want to talk about is what I experienced — and that is what I am bringing.
Your point can have its turn, and I take it seriously. Let us finish this one first.
It may be small for you. It is not for me, and that is why I am raising it.
I can see this is a lot right now. Shall we pause and pick it up again in an hour?
Decided over my head
Manager · Authority and decisions · Set a boundaryMy area was reassigned in a meeting I was not in.
I am disappointed, because we had agreed to decide together.
I would like you to discuss decisions about my tasks with me beforehand.
I will say this without dressing it up. My area was reassigned in a meeting I was not in. I am disappointed, because we had agreed to decide together. I would like you to discuss decisions about my tasks with me beforehand.
Womit du rechnen kannst
You may well remember it differently. What I want to talk about is what I experienced — and that is what I am bringing.
Your point can have its turn, and I take it seriously. Let us finish this one first.
It may be small for you. It is not for me, and that is why I am raising it.
I can see this is a lot right now. Shall we pause and pick it up again in an hour?
A boundary crossed at home
Family · A boundary crossed · Set a boundaryMy post was opened before I got home.
I am hurt, because it goes to something private for me.
I would like you to ask me rather than assume my agreement.
This is a limit for me, and I am naming it clearly. My post was opened before I got home. I am hurt, because it goes to something private for me. I would like you to ask me rather than assume my agreement.
Womit du rechnen kannst
You may well remember it differently. What I want to talk about is what I experienced — and that is what I am bringing.
Your point can have its turn, and I take it seriously. Let us finish this one first.
It may be small for you. It is not for me, and that is why I am raising it.
I can see this is a lot right now. Shall we pause and pick it up again in an hour?
Criticised in front of others
Partner · Criticism and feedback · Say how it landedAt dinner with your parents you called my suggestion nonsense.
I am hurt, because it was said in front of the whole room.
I would like you to listen to what it did to me in front of the others.
This matters to me, and that is why I am raising it. At dinner with your parents you called my suggestion nonsense. I am hurt, because it was said in front of the whole room. I would like you to listen to what it did to me in front of the others.
Womit du rechnen kannst
You may well remember it differently. What I want to talk about is what I experienced — and that is what I am bringing.
Your point can have its turn, and I take it seriously. Let us finish this one first.
It may be small for you. It is not for me, and that is why I am raising it.
I can see this is a lot right now. Shall we pause and pick it up again in an hour?